Sample Chapter

The good thing about Mountjoy Prison in
Dublin was that there were more drugs in
that foul place than screws. The day before
my release I managed to score half a gram
of dubious smack, a tab of acid and a super
horse tranquilizer. The last of my old IRA
friends Danny the Dodo was kind enough and
dumb enough to come visit me and
warn me. He left me in fifty pounds and
advised me there were people waiting
outside
to get me – lining up to kill me - and so
as soon as the gates of the Joy swung
opened
for me I ran down to a travel agents in
Dorset street clutching my small Olivetti
typewriter, my manuscripts, a plastic sack
full of jail memorabilia and what wits had
been left to me. I don’t know how it came
to this. Like my big brother Jesus in
heaven
I really can do no wrong to any man. Even

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now I cannot believe they were going to
kill me - but it was true. When I was
released from the Joy I was under imminent
threat of death from all major Irish and
British paramilitary organizations - the
British
SAS - my old bank robbing firm The Locusts
– the Legion of Mary - and my ex
wives. That was bad but the VSS were after
me too - body and soul - and that were
real bad. The Vatican Secret Service had
unlimited funds by way of the church
collections which they were authorized to
requisition and use at their own
discretion.
Every chapel in Ireland was a base for them
and every congregation a haven of safe
houses staffed by craw thumping Catholics,
a vast pool of dedicated sanctimonious
sympathizers. The Holy Father himself had
issued a Papal Bull – that’s the
equivalent

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